Practice #2: Pace Groups

Big shock: I was put in the last pace group. I'm beyond the point where I feel bad about being slow. At least there's nowhere to go but up, right?

We started with the usual update and mission moment from Coach Gaily. I love the mission moments and the fact that we wear ribbons for each person's story we hear. When I feel like what I'm doing is impossible or I'm feeling sorry for myself, I look at those ribbons and remember the cause I'm running for. Cliche, I know. Or when I ask Katie (my honored teammate) why I'm doing this, she tells me it's because I love her. It's nice to get those reminders when I need them.

After that, the owner of Run With Us in Pasadena spoke to us about gear we need for this journey. (If you've never been to the store, go. They know their stuff. And they're super nice!) I had been to see them a couple months before so I could get a pair of running shoes that fit my gait. Next thing I know, I'm adding a second pair of shoes and a water belt to my mental list of things I will need before the season is over.

On the walk from our meeting place to the Rose Bowl loop, I was trying to keep pace with the front of the group and a teammate I was conversing with. I could feel my shins start to ache. In the back of my mind, I heard a little voice berating my need to push myself, but I shushed it and continued on my way.

We did a quick warm up - note to self: shins don't appreciate jumping jacks - and then separated into our groups. I am in the seventeen minute mile group, which means we do one minute run, one minute walk intervals. We had a few newcomers so they did their pace assessments while the rest of us did forty minutes. I started out trying to keep up, but was quickly slowed by my shins. Poor Coach Gaily was stuck with me trailing behind her and two of the other girls taking off. I kept trying to wave her on, but the team is great about not wanting to leave anyone behind. (Great? Yes. I'm going to ignore the fact that it stresses me out.) Then, as I'm trying to keep up and pause to stretch my legs out against the wall, I'm stopped by two ladies who wanted to know why they were walking past all these people with their names duct taped across their chests. I tried to politely and quickly explain it to them, all the while despairing in my head; I'm already so far behind. Now I'll be even further.

But I pushed on. I gave up on intervals, seeing as I was by myself, and just tried to catch up. Which meant I was running until I possibly couldn't, walking until I felt semi-okay, and running again. I did eventually manage to catch up with Gaily, who very patiently finished the "run" with me. We walked, she coached me on my form, and we ran for a minute when I said I was feeling okay. And believe me, it was a pitiful amount of running. After crossing the finish line, Scott grabbed me and made me walk around to stretch out.

So, yes, it is very frustrating. I wasn't last this week because the people doing their pace assessment had longer to go than we did, but it was close enough. But I keep telling myself and everyone around me that I just have to push on. It will get better. My "good attitude" might get praised, but it's really just an alternative to breaking down and crying. So, with that in mind, I'm not giving up. It will get better.

(I might be crying anyway. Just a little bit.)